The Fundamentals To Building True Value

It is difficult to understand and quantify the notion of value. What does sexual market value (SMV) mean? Why do women prefer some men over others? Clearly that there is a preference over the partners women choose. Let's begin to understand the topic of value, and the ways you can increase your true value.

Supply And Demand

For something to be valuable, by definition, it has to be rare. In today's culture, women would rather choose to be single than to date a "low-value man." The deciding factor of why she will choose to build a life with you over others or even herself will come down to your personality.

This means that you must not compete on things like money, status, lifestyle, how physically attractive you are or any of the sort. There will always be a person who will come along and have more of those things relative to you. Just have a nice baseline of those things to show that you are not an incompetent fool.

You must find a way to niche down and project congruence in the attraction process. The thing that is one of a kind will be who you are, and congruence will be mandatory to convey this inherent value.

You must not make the mistake and compare yourself against unattractive men. To women, these unattractive men don't exist. In her mind, you are one of the select few attractive men in her orbit that she can potentially snag, your value must outweigh the other options in her orbit to make you a contender.

How Women View Value

Women judge value based on the potential future you may have. They do this by listening to your future projections and observing how you live your day-to-day life. The present moment of who you are is merely an indicator of who you will be in the future.

Here comes the subjectivity. If the future she can achieve by herself is better than yours, you will be determined to be someone with low SMV. For you to be of a higher SMV, she needs to view you as someone who can achieve a future that is greater than what she can achieve for herself or what she can achieve with other men in her immediate orbit.

Do not be mistaken in thinking of the "future" in materialistic terms. For example, another important axis of how women view value is through what you can make her feel. If you make her feel shitty everyday, then no materialistic compensation will make her stay with you for the long term.

The Distinction Between Fake And True Value

In the early days of pickup, there is a heavy emphasis on "gamey" and routined techniques. Problem with these techniques however is that it relies on fake value. The natural game movement that came after corrected this problem.

You can very well use fake value as a means to get women to sleep with you, the problem with that is that they will leave you after the fact a few months later. In their minds they will go "ew, I've been deceived by this low-value guy."

You will manage to stand out immediately among a crowd of AFCs and PUAs who deploy fake value techniques. Especially for the attractive women, they will have the experience to distinguish the bullshitters and the real deal. Better to bite the bullet and niche down through congruence.

Increasing your true value will be done through self-help. The process of learning and developing the skills to obtain serious achievements will advance your maturity and wisdom for life. Here are some guaranteed ways to increase your value:

#1 - Maturity

Maturity exist on many fronts. You can have a mature outlook on how you deal with your emotions but have a very immature outlook on money. A person of high value will have a degree of maturity on many fronts.

You can gain more maturity in your life by taking on more responsibility. Instead of blaming other people or things, dedicate yourself to take ownership of the problems you have and work towards a solution.

It is not possible to become a person of high value if you constantly scapegoat and blame others for your problems. One cannot improve from a position of denial and victimhood.

#2 - Experience

Before social media existed, people entertained themselves by exploring something that itched their curiosity. The value generated then is usually the byproduct of this "seeking."

To set out to gather these experiences in the first place would require you to get out of your comfort zone. You must also remove all expectations in the experience gathering process, because the treasure you seek might not be down the road you are exploring.

There is an infinite amount of experience we can gather in our lives. The experience you have accumulated literally defines who you are right now! Pick and choose the experiences you want carefully, because the only limitation is time. You must know when to stop and pivot down a different road if suddenly you realize the train is going the wrong way.

#3 - Uniqueness

You can't become high value by copying someone else. This instinct might be hard to overcome, because as humans, we naturally want to emulate others. But notice that if we follow someone else's story, we just become number 2.

To become a person of exceptionally high value, you must listen to your inner voice guiding you through life. To seek originality in the way you want to carve out and shape the life you want to live.

We are all different, our needs and wants are different. Comparison is for losers. Depending on what kind of life you want to live, you will naturally gravitate towards the things you need. I suggest that you listen more to your inner voice.

#4 - Give

Did you know that a person who gives is likely to receive 10 times of what he gave in return? I am quite the selfish resource hoarder myself (you can tell by how I worded the previous sentence), but unfortunately, I must admit that this is true.

There is no such thing as a universal force that balances the karma of givers and hoarders, but rather, when we decide to give and share our resources, our minds put down the irratic survivalistic tendencies and switches to the mind of abundance. Only in a position of abundance can we make good decisions for our lives.

Am I telling you to donate 100% of your net worth to charity? No. Giving and sharing is supposed to feel good, and you should only give things to people and causes you care about.

However, only give the excess of your resources. Giving should not come at the expense of your well-being. If so, giving will become more of an activity of resentment rather than pleasure.

#5 - Growth

This is not so much directly a component of value, but having a growth mindset helps. You can't bring your achievements along with you after you are dead, so there is nothing better to do than to enjoy the life we have today.

First make sure that you grow enough so that you can enjoy your life to the fullest, whatever that means to you. After a certain point, you will be in so much abundance that the only way to motivate yourself to grow further is to grow for the sake of others.

That point is where the fun starts to begin. When we grow for the sake of others we can grow much faster. It's much more easier to take action and absorb pain and difficulty for the sake of benefiting the people we deeply care about.

#6 - Wisdom

The meaning of "wisdom" means the ability to make good decisions that produce good outcomes. Where in your life do you lack wisdom? The places where you continually make bad decisions over and over again at your own expense.

Let's make a distinction between wisdom and intelligence. Let's say a rich man who continuously sacrifices his time and energy to increase a superficial number in his bank account (not me), even if it already satisfies all his wants. Is that wisdom or intelligence?

Certainly we can learn something from his great intelligence of making money, but that is not a very wise path to go down. What I'm basically trying to say here is that how successful you are does not reflect how wise you are. You can be a complete fool sitting on top your pile of achievements. Intelligent? Yes. Wise? Maybe.

Conclusion

To recap, we have discussed that the best way to build true value is to niche and bet on yourself. Hopefully, I have dissuaded you from wasting your time on fake value, and instead, to bite the bullet and develop true value through my six examples. Once you have done so, please refer to my post on congruence so that you can learn how to project your new found value.

That's it for me, best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.