The Principles Of Approaching Women

Approaching is one of the most important skills you will first build. Relatively, it is the hardest. This is because you're coming in as a newbie learning everything all at once. It is very important to not skill the process and really master your approaching.

I have a tendency to approach direct, because it makes me more congruent and authentic. I have boiled this down into a science, if your approaches suck or are not received well consistently, it is because you do not follow the principles of approaching. Here are the principles;

#1 - Approach With No Excuses

Why this is number #1 is because you cannot practice approaching if you come up with many different reasons and excuses when it is time to perform. You must approach women with no excuses.

However, there is an exception to this. I do not approach women who are clearly with their boyfriends or women who are working. The reason that working girls are off limits is because they are obligated to be nice to me, and I don't want to put them in the spotlight.

To follow this principle, first get yourself acquainted on dealing with different types of sets, found in my daygame post. Second, deal with your approach anxiety, and learn to manage your own emotions infield.

#2 - Commitment

Once you have chosen to approach, be committed to the approach 100%. Be willing to become vulnerable and lean into the approach emotionally, do not try to "save" your emotions.

Be vulnerable and be willing to be rejected on the basis of your true self. What may commonly happen is that you might put up a "front" so that rejection wont hurt. Never do a half-assed approach.

To follow this principle, it is helpful to learn some inner game beliefs. Additionally, take some time to list out the characteristics of the women you have approached, having success with a specific type of girl can often ease your mind and help you be more committed.

#3 - Get Her Attention With A Blank Mind

Do not approach her with some quippy pickup line you have rehearsed from somewhere. The best openers are ones that are spontaneous and witty. How you should do it is that:

1. Walk up to her and get her attention
2. Once you have her attention, decide what to say
3. Take your time

You are allowed to say anything you want except for commenting on her sexual appearance. If your spontaneous opener is "nice tits" or "nice ass" this will not be received well. Other than that, you can say anything you want. (and I really do mean anything)

#4 - Laser Eye Contact

The purpose of eye contact is to transfer state. State transference means that whatever you feel, she will feel it as well. Therefore, we can translate our attraction and give it to her through the use of our eyes.

This is why we have laser eye contact. This eye contact should be so strong that she should be looking away. Although from my experience, some women will hold it really strongly just to gauge if you are genuine before looking away.

#5 - Face Her

Do not jump scare her by getting her attention from behind. When we approach, we try our best to get in her periphiral vision so that she knows somewhat that we are coming, we then square up and talk to her face to face.

#6 - Smile

Smiling is used to defuse the situation. From the girls perspective, she doesn't know if you are a beggar, pirate or some thief. Smiling in your approach is a very important factor to make the girl feel at ease, and not in a dangerous situation.

This is a must, and for some of you this won't even be enough. Super muscular/masculine looking guys will still intimidate the girl if you are smiling. If this is the case, I recommend that you feminize your appearance with some accessories.

#7 - Establish Hook Point

The definition of hook point is that you can tell she is clearly attracted to you. This process will happen in 5 minutes or less, and if it doesn't happen, it will never happen.

Hook point follows the rules of one-third. It states as follows.
1/3 of women = hate you
1/3 of women = neutral
1/3 of women = love you

This is the same as everyone else in the world. Because we are expressing ourselves authentically, naturally, not everyone is going to like us. That is just too bad! Don't waste your time and move on quickly. Rejection should only hurt from those that love you.

#8 - Do Not Hide Your Sexual Attraction

Fully show your sexual attraction to her. Through your body language alone, she will be able to tell that you are very attracted. This principle alone can really increase your number of hook points.

The practical technique to get this done goes by the name of "Gunwitch". It is to transfer your sexual state, through your body language, innuendoes and overall "feel." This is mostly done in the mind.

#9 - Man To Woman Communication

Man to woman is the first point of escalation. You are not approaching her to become her friend. You are approaching her because you want to become her next dating opportunity. Therefore, the definition of man-to-woman communication is that she knows that you are there as a dating opportunity.

What makes direct openers direct is because the first sentence you speak makes it man-to-woman. If you have used an indirect opener, you will need to transition to a man-to-woman using a line like "Are you single?"

In every single cold approach you do, you must make it clear to the girl that you are there as a dating opportunity. This must be done within 15 minutes or you risk getting friendzoned.

#10 - Congruence

Do not hide anything in your approach, say what is on your mind and don't filter what you should or should not say. Own up to certain undesirable feelings or intentions that you may feel or have.

It is totally okay to let the girl know that you feel fear, or that you are anxious etc. Although this is undesirable, you aren't fooling anyone and she will be able to tell eitherway. By owning up to our emotions in the approach, we not only become more congruent, but the girl might even be impressed.

#11 - Instant Date

With every approach, we always have the intention going for the insta date. This way we can build more rapport before scheduling our second date or first, depending on what perspective you take.

Before asking for the number, we ask logistical questions first about where she is going etc. After that, we use the magic phrase "Can I come with you?" If that is not logistically possible, then only after that we get her contact and make sure to seed the next date.

Conclusion

The foundation of all your skills will lie in this one article. Make sure that you take the time to review and nail down each and every principle before moving on to practice more complex topics.

Best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling.