Social Circle Guide - Building Your Presence In The City

Social game might be the most underrated lead generator for guys to meet women. For whatever reason, cold approach and online dating seems to be much more popular with men than simply leveraging an existing social network.

This can be demonstrated with a story from a couple of years ago. I was texting my cousin about a restaurant I was trying to get into for a long time. He told me that he was finally able to get in and he was going with his girlfriend. I dutifully then informed him that I was jealous and he offered to bring me along. 

I joked that I didn't want to be a third wheel and told him that if his girlfriend can bring one of her cute friends then I’ll go, and thats exactly what happened. The double date went amazingly. 

That's the power of social circle in its simplest form. Its infinitely scaleable because the more people you meet, the more leads you can bring in by delegating lead generation to other people. You just have to maintain a good reputation. 

The Pros And Cons Of Social Circle 

Building a social circle will be time-consuming and difficult. Here, I will help you critically evaluate if social circle is worth your time. If the following things are appealing to you, then you should proceed with building a social circle. 

1. You don't have to raise your value. It is likely that your social circle will be of a similar status, attractiveness and calibre to you. 
2. You need not to cold approach anyone, because the leads will already be warm 
3. You need not to compete online with nice-looking photos on dating apps
4. Your life will improve because you might end up meeting your best friend, wife or a group of people you vibe with. 

This is important to note because social circle cannot be turned off like cold approach. In cold approach, you can just stop approaching when you want to take a step back from dating. In social circle, this is not possible and the circle must be maintained even if you don't feel like it.

The Mindset Behind Social Circle

To be successful at social circle game, you must be willing to bug your friends, family, friends of friends and even your immediate family. As discussed previously, social circle is all about getting referrals from other people. 

Therefore, we must be humble. Unlike cold approach we do not get to choose who these people are going to refer. If your friends refer you to a “low value woman” who might not be your type, you must still act grateful or you might risk burning down your social circle. 

It is helpful to understand what type of women you want, because using your accurate descriptions, you can easily convey to your social circles the type of women you like or don’t like. This way the referrals have a higher chance of being a woman you will be interested in. 

Creating Groups

Groups can be created in an environment where there is repeated exposure to the same people doing some sort of activity as a medium. We simply befriend as many of these people as possible in these social activities.

After that, we just pick the men and women we personally like and invite them out to the same activity over and over again. Over time, you will form your little reliable group. To get your mind jogging, here are some good environments you can consider:

1. Bar
2. Rock Climbing
3. University
4. Any "Club" With Repeated Meetups
5. Badminton / Tennis

Group Dynamics 

Social circle works by having a core group with 3 or more people, and relying on the women in these circles for referrals of new members. Think of the social circle as a nucleus. The core group is the nucleus, the friends of the core are the first orbiter shell. We ideally want to seduce women in the 2nd orbiter shell or further, any closer to the nucleus and we run the risk of ruining our reputation. 

Social circles are also inherently unstable. Groups form and break off all the time, we counteract this by being a nucleus member in multiple different social circles. We can expect to reasonably get 2 high quality leads from each social circle without affecting the dynamics of the group. 

The risk of ruin in social circle is to make your social circle explode and fall apart. Therefore, we must always follow the top 5 principles when using pickup in a social circle setting. Here they are:

Principle #1 - Discreteness

In a social circle, we never go for the girls in our core group. Attractive girls know other attractive girls, and this will create the space for never-ending attractive girls to come in and out of the group. Otherwise known as the “orbiters” of the group.

Still, you will need to maintain cordial terms with the core members as well as the orbiters. Naturally, we may attract some of them, but due to us not being able to go for women in the nucleus we must use disqualification as a method to deny their advances, but not too much where they lose interest completely.

Many also make the mistake of “DHVing” themselves in a social circle environment, trying to build pre-selection by “showing off." This is a big mistake. Understand that being a member of the social circle with the inner circle chasing you, already fulfils all the criterias for women to chase, and you just simply have to do nothing but to facilitate escalation. 

Principle #2 - Pre-Selection 

The mechanism for buy-in for social circle will be pre-selection. Social circle heavily relies on girls chasing and pursuing you. Therefore, framing is one of the more important techniques when it comes to social circle. 

It also heavily relies upon social proof. When other girls (the orbiters) see that the core group of girls all find you attractive and are chasing you, they automatically assume the cumulative value of every girl that likes you unto you.

Therefore, the objective for social circle game is to one, increase the number of women who find you attractive and make them chase through the framing mechanisms, and two, increase the size of the group so that a percentage of them will also become your orbiters. 

If you are doing everything correctly, the nice thing about social circle is that women will not have the social capital to make you chase. Due to the displayed abundance you have, every single woman will be forced to make their move on you to “secure you” from the other women. 

Principle #3 - Reputation 

Reputation is the most important concept in social circle. If your reputation is ruined, it guarantees the dissolution of your own social circle, forcing you to build a new one. This is why social circle can be thought of as the opposite to cold approach. 

In social circle environments, we want to primarily not take risks and let women assume the social risks of escalation. However, we do not want to be so neutral to the point where we de-polarize ourselves, we still need to be polarizing enough to generate attraction between members. 

You must maintain your reputation as an attractive man, but not build a reputation for being a player or a doormat. Often, you can just protect your reputation by embracing a degree of aloofness. 

Principle #4 - Infectious Presence

Infectious presence means that you are unique enough to stand out when you walk into a room. People often remember who you are just by your appearance and the way you present yourself. 

You can have an infectious presence via peacocking and fully expressing your personality via flirting. Wear a distinctive-looking outfit that nobody else wears and make sure to fully express the strengths in your personality. 

What people should say of you is along the lines of “I’ve never seen a person like you.” This is how you know you have established an infectious presence, and once you have it, you will be surprised at the number of people who actually know you. Even in such a big city like Kuala Lumpur, people sometimes occasionally recognize me while I'm walking in the wild. 

Principle #5 - Flexibility

A lot of the time you will have to rely on your intuition to make the right decision. Unlike cold approach, there is little to no structure when it comes to social circle and a majority of the difficulty will be dedicated to navigating the vast variability of different situations. 

Therefore, your pickup skills must be dynamic and adaptable. There is often no clear answer to the situation and it will be hard to communicate the nuance with other people without sitting in a call discussing for a few hours for the details. You are expected to solve your own roadblocks within social circle.  

Man To Woman 

The beginning forms of escalation are different compared to cold approach. In many cases we cannot directly hit on the target we want or we will risk the group kicking us out. Therefore, we must identify the person who leads our target, and gain approval from her first, recruiting her into our cause. Although this may not be necessary all the time, it makes the escalation process easier.

How we do so is to naturally attract her and show her that we are a high value trustworthy guy. Once she successfully achieves hook point, we hint that we are attracted to her friend with something like “Your friend over there, I kinda want to talk to her, what do you think?” Her referral will carry its weight in gold. On the flip side, if you leave a negative impression she will actively cock block you.

After this referral is in place, we directly do an approach with a direct opener to the target while being discreet. We isolate her by taking her contact and arranging a date with her after the fact.

This works because female group dynamics are extremely protective of each other. Even if this leader likes you, she will be thinking in terms of the benefit of the group. Therefore, she will selflessly put down her ego and allow you to have her friend despite her feelings for you.

The principle of discreetness is very important when it comes to the escalation process. While it is important to let the leader know you are interested in a particular girl, you cannot signal your intent. Meaning, whether if its casual or something serious should only be kept between you and the girl you chose in said group. Let her decide what she wants to say to her friends. 

Summary

I hope you have managed to wrap your head around the main concepts surrounding social circle. I'd like to thank notaxation for his time and effort to co-write this article. This information will not be available otherwise without his contribution.

In short, the process and what we have described goes like this:

1. Create a referral machine through the use of groups
2. Apply social circle principles to maintain said groups
3. Wait for opportunities
4. Make it man to woman under the social circle context
5. Isolate by getting contact using a strong direct approach
6. Go on a date (sequence is the same as daygame from there onwards)

That's it for me. Best of luck. Please check out my other posts and practice everything holistically. Send me an email if you want a specific topic written. You can see "coaching" to see if I have room to onboard new students.

Cheers,
noTaxation.
FriendlyWrenChilling.